Too Little, Too Late

For my comics creator’s career, that is

Polojko

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Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

“Each man’s life represents a road toward himself, an attempt at such a road, the intimation of a path. No man has ever been entirely and completely himself.”

― Hermann Hesse

Since childhood, I have always wanted to draw comics. I was immersed in that world entirely, and there’s nothing else that I would rather do for a living. Legend has it that I even thought myself how to read & write by reading comics. I tried, as a teenager, to the best of my abilities, to make it happen. I was even published, some small pieces in local comics magazines, but it never took off properly.

Then, the “life happened”. School, profession, earning money, starting a family, not to mention a civil war happening in my country. Not trying to find excuses here; if I was only a bit more determined, who knows?

These days, while nearing retirement and having a comfortable career and life, I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened with my comics career, if it, indeed, happened? I even tried to start it again, after many decades of absence. Except, there’s no spark in doing that anymore; the thrill is gone, as B.B. King would say.

You can’t have it all

Contrary to popular beliefs, you really can’t have it all. If done properly, everything takes time and consistent effort, to get anywhere with it. Time and energy that we don’t have, that’s consumed by your current profession. And no, doubling-down isn’t a solution either: that would just make you exhausted and burned out.

While pondering on my non-existent comics creator’s career, I find myself imagining what would entail to start it now. I haven’t drawn a single stick figure for decades: how long it would take to become decent at drawing again? 1 year? Several years? The time I don’t have.

We make decisions, all the time, of all sizes and shapes. Life is a maze with several possible paths to the goal. We, consciously or subconsciously, choose our paths. Once the decision was made, going back should never be an option. It would be tantamount to having a time travel machine…

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Polojko

“The only person you can’t learn from is yourself” — Anonymous